Navigating Birth Plans with an LGBTQ Birth Doula
As an LGBTQ Birth Doula, one purpose I serve is to help queer and trans families make Birth Plans as they start to explore what their birth could look like. Birth should be an empowering and affirming experience for everyone regardless of gender or sexuality. Far too often, in our modern medical complex, birth loses those qualities because we are at the mercy of insurance input and doctor preferences.
Making a Birth Plan that reflects your needs and can guide your providers through what will make your experience the most empowering has never been more important than now, especially for LGBTQ births. Let’s work through what your LGBTQ Birth Plan could look like, together!
What is a Birth Plan?
A birth plan is a written explanation of your wants, needs, and preferences for the entire labor from the time your water breaks to the post-birth choices made for you and your infant. This can be as simple or as detailed as you see fit - I, personally, have found a more “infographic” option to work best in my work with providers and midwives.
This is what I mean by infographic versus dense literary review where details might be missed.
Your Birth Plan is something like a Pick Your Own Adventure book that can operate inside of what is allowed at the location you have chosen to give birth. It will vary widely from person to person and should feel exceptionally personal and specific to YOU! What your sisters-brothers-cousins-aunt chose to do does not determine what you can or should include in your Birth Plan.
When should you start making your birth plan?
It is never too soon to start thinking about your Birth Plan, but most people recommend starting it in the late second trimester or early third trimester. I am a planner! I love a list or a calendar or a reason to color code and I am positive I am not alone in this. If you get snowed in and even have thought about making a baby soon - you too - could start thinking about what your birth preferences would be.
With that in mind, as an LGBTQ family, I am sure you know that finding providers you feel comfortable and safe with is a little challenging. In the early stages of pregnancy, the planning you can start with is:
Provider (doctor, midwife, etc.)
Location (hospital, home, birth center, etc.)
Support Humans (doula, partner, BFF, etc.)
Those three choices are CRUCIAL to what comes next when building your Birth Plan. If you have a preferred provider - you will go where they have patient privileges. That may pre-determine your location. If you pick a midwife, then you likely will be looking at a home birth which comes with many choices to be made on your birth plan. If you pick a birthing center, it will come with a staff of midwives. Knowing who you want to take with you early will allow time for you to all be comfortable with each other and prepare for birth.
Should you ask a professional about your birth plan?
Asking an LGBTQ Birth Doula to help you make your Birth Plan or to help explain what might happen will be VERY beneficial. This will help you know what options and choices can’t or won’t mix well and ensure that you have everything you need for an empowering and affirming birth.
This is especially important for your first birth. Consulting with an LGBTQ Birth Doula about your Birth Plan will help you better understand what the process will be like and what choices will benefit you the most the day your bundle of joy decides they are done baking!
You will also find that consulting with a professional can help you know what questions to ask of your provider and the location you chose. Some things you may want for your birth might be unavailable in certain locations or with certain providers. The answers to these questions can weigh in on your provider or location choices.
What to include in an LGBTQ Birth Plan
Drum Rolls, please! We are finally going to talk about what to include in your LGBTQ Birth Plan!
Your basic information including your pronouns
Taking something with your pronouns to the birthing location with you is a great idea
The name and pronouns of any support people
What words you do or do not identify with for your birth parts/ body parts
Your provider will likely default to anatomical wording, but expressing your personal preferences will help the experience be more affirming to you
How many cervical checks do you prefer to have or not have
In many hospital settings, the cervical dilation will be checked just about every hour which is invasive and excessive
It can also create a feeling of dysphoria
You have the right to say yes or no to these checks at any time!
Relevant medical history
Blood type, pregnancy issues, etc.
Things you want for the early part of labor
Staying home as long as possible to eat snacks and drink electrolytes
Dim lighting, music, things that are relaxing or absolutely the opposite of relaxing and should be avoided by all humans in the area
Pain management preferences
Meditation, positional changes, counterpressure, laughing gas, drugs, etc.
Photos or no photos
Skin-to-Skin Contact
These are the main highlights of a Birth Plan, but absolutely not an all encompassing list. It also important to make a Plan B for the if’s of birth because unfortunately things do not always go exactly how we plan. This could include your support team having a code word for if/when you are ready to get an epidural after a trial of natural labor or what choices you want made if there were to be an emergency.
Making your LGBTQ Birth Plan
Making a Birth Plan can be stressful, but so are most things in life at this point - have you seen I-25 recently?! But with enough information, education, and interest you can make a Birth Plan that will help you feel empowered and affirmed during your birth. As a queer or trans person who is pregnant or planning to be pregnant, it is never too early to start thinking about what preferences you might have for your birth experience.
You can click here to get answers to any questions you have or book a FREE Consultation where we can discuss your LGBTQ Birth Plan!