Creating a Doula Birth Plan with an LGBTQ-Affirming Birth Doula
Giving birth is not just a medical event, it’s a deeply personal, vulnerable, powerful experience. A doula birth plan is one of the most effective tools you can use to protect your autonomy, communicate your needs, and support a birth experience that feels safe, affirming, and informed.
For LGBTQ families navigating medical systems, a birth plan isn’t about controlling every moment of labor and delivery. It’s about clarity, consent, and shared understanding. It helps your care team know who you are, how you want to be supported, and what matters most to you as you prepare to give birth.
As an LGBTQ-affirming birth doula, I help queer and trans families create birth plans that function as communication and advocacy tools including documents that support your safety, dignity, and voice during labor and delivery, even when things get intense or unpredictable. In this article, we’ll walk through what a doula birth plan is, how it supports your birth team, and what to include so your birth experience feels empowering and aligned with you.
What is a Birth Doula?
A common question I hear is: what is a birth doula? A birth doula is a trained, non-medical support person who provides continuous emotional, physical, and informational support throughout pregnancy, labor, and delivery.
Unlike a healthcare provider, a birth doula does not perform medical procedures, diagnose conditions, or make clinical decisions. Instead, a doula works alongside your medical team as part of your larger birth team or care team, helping you understand your options, navigate conversations with your healthcare provider, and feel supported every step of the way.
For LGBTQ parents, having a birth doula can be especially meaningful. Doulas help advocate for correct pronouns, affirming language, consent-based care, and respectful communication, things that are not always consistently upheld in traditional medical settings. Your doula is there to support you, your identity, and your choices while collaborating with medical providers to keep everyone aligned.
What is a Birth Plan and Why Does It Matter?
A birth plan is a written outline of your preferences for the birth process, including labor, delivery, and the immediate hours after birth. It can include everything from pain management preferences to language choices, environment setup, and newborn care decisions.
Think of your birth plan as a living document instead of a rigid script. During labor and delivery, things can move quickly, emotions can run high, and decision-making can feel overwhelming. A birth plan helps align your medical team, support people, and healthcare providers so that your preferences are respected whenever possible, especially during high-stress moments.
Your birth preferences may change, and that’s okay. The purpose of a birth plan is not perfection, but communication, consent, and collaboration.
How a Doula Birth Plan Supports Your Birth Team
A doula birth plan helps keep everyone on the same page including hospital staff, midwives, medical providers, and your personal support team. It creates a shared understanding of what matters to you while leaving room for flexibility if medical procedures or changes become necessary.
Your doula helps translate your preferences into clear, practical language that works within hospital policies or birth center guidelines. If plans shift, your doula can also help you understand your options and advocate for informed consent so you can continue making empowered choices throughout labor and delivery.
When Should You Start Making Your Birth Plan?
It’s never too early to start thinking about your birth plan, but most families begin drafting it in the late second trimester or early third trimester. If you’re a planner (hi, same), starting earlier can feel grounding and empowering.
Early planning allows you to:
Discuss birth preferences during prenatal appointments with your doula
Coordinate smoothly with your chosen birthing location and provider
Give your care team time to review and understand your needs before you give birth
Having these conversations ahead of time reduces stress and supports clearer communication when labor begins.
Choosing Your Provider, Birthing Location, and Care Team
Three foundational choices shape the rest of your birth plan:
Provider (OB, certified nurse midwives, or certified professional midwife)
Birthing location (hospital, birth center, or home)
Care team and support humans (doula, partner, family, friends)
Hospitals, birth centers, and home births all offer different levels of flexibility, intervention, and environment. Hospitals may involve larger medical teams and standardized protocols, while birth centers and home births often allow more autonomy and personalized care with midwives.
Your provider’s credentials and privileges often determine where you can give birth, and each setting comes with different options and limitations. Understanding these differences early helps your medical team and care team work together more effectively. Having a doula on your team can help you sort through some of these decisions and processes.
Should You Ask a Professional About Your Birth Plan?
Asking an LGBTQ Birth Doula to help you make your Birth Plan or to help explain what might happen will be VERY beneficial. This will help you know what options and choices can’t or won’t mix well and ensure that you have everything you need for an empowering and affirming birth.
This is especially important for your first birth. Consulting with an LGBTQ Birth Doula about your Birth Plan will help you better understand what the process will be like and what choices will benefit you the most the day your bundle of joy decides they are done baking!
You will also find that consulting with a professional can help you know what questions to ask of your provider and the location you chose. Some things you may want for your birth might be unavailable in certain locations or with certain providers. The answers to these questions can weigh in on your provider or location choices.
A birth doula can help you understand:
Pain relief and pain management options
Common medical procedures
Consent and decision-making during labor and delivery
Reviewing your birth plan with a doula ensures your preferences are realistic, clearly communicated, and aligned with your chosen location and medical providers. It also helps you know what questions to ask ahead of time so there are fewer surprises on birth day.
What To Include In An LGBTQ Birth Plan
Drum Rolls, please! We are finally going to talk about what to include in your LGBTQ Birth Plan!
Your birth plan should clearly list your name, pronouns, and any relevant details your care team needs to know. Bringing visible pronoun reminders to your birthing space can help reduce misgendering and emotional labor during actual labor.
Support People and Birth Partner Preferences
Include the names, pronouns, and roles of each support person or birth partner, as well as who you want present at different stages of labor. This helps your support team and medical providers respect boundaries and expectations. It is also worth noting anyone you DO NOT want around because many hospitals and birth centers have the ability to ensure that list of people is not allowed into the facility.
Language Preferences and Affirming Care
List words you do or do not use for body parts or aspects of birth. Medical providers often default to anatomical language, but your birth experience should reflect language that feels affirming and respectful to you.
Pain Management and Pain Relief Options
Outline both non-medicated and medicated pain management preferences, including movement, breathing, counterpressure, hydrotherapy, nitrous oxide, or pain medication like an epidural. Preferences can change, flexibility is key and it can be important to discuss all of the options just in case.
Birth Positions and Movement During Labor
Movement matters. Include preferred birth positions such as standing, kneeling, leaning, using a birth ball, or a birth bar. I carry a large poster sized infographic of different positions with me to all births so visual people can see all the options that might suit them.
Labor and Delivery Environment
Describe your ideal delivery room environment, lighting, music, clothing preferences (like wearing your own clothes), and whether you want hospital staff limited whenever possible during labor and delivery. They typically make rounds every hour, but it may differ depending on hospital guidelines or scenarios being seen on monitors in the hospital.
Vaginal Birth and Medical Procedure Preferences
If planning a vaginal birth, outline preferences around consent, cervical checks, and communication before medical procedures. Remember: you always have the right to say yes or no to cervical exams, induction, and any other processes. This is one of the main reasons having a birth doula present is crucial to your autonomy.
Immediate Post-Birth and Newborn Preferences
Include preferences for skin to skin, immediate skin contact, delayed cord clamping, care of the umbilical cord, and routine newborn procedures. These early moments matter to your post-partum health and the baby's nervous system regulation.
These are the main highlights of a Birth Plan, but absolutely not an all encompassing list. It also important to make a Plan B for the if’s of birth because unfortunately things do not always go exactly how we plan. This could include your support team having a code word for if/when you are ready to get an epidural after a trial of natural labor or what choices you want made if there were to be an emergency.
Creating a Postpartum Plan
Your planning doesn’t stop once the baby arrives. A postpartum plan helps support recovery, emotional care, and feeding goals after birth. This may include lining up a postpartum doula, connecting with a lactation consultant, and identifying support for rest, meals, and mental health.
Postpartum support plays a huge role in how your overall birth experience is remembered and integrated.
Making Your LGBTQ Birth Plan Feel Empowering
Making a doula birth plan can feel overwhelming, but so is basically everything right now (have you driven on I-25 lately?). With education, support, and clear communication, your doula birth plan can help you give birth feeling informed, respected, and supported.
This is about choice, flexibility, and advocacy; not doing birth “perfectly.” You deserve a birth experience that honors who you are.
FAQs About Doula Birth Plans
What is a doula birth plan?
A doula birth plan is a written guide that outlines your preferences for labor, delivery, and postpartum care, created with support from a birth doula. In our office, this is part of the prenatal appointments. You will be provided blank plans with all your options and you can work through what you want or don't want and get answers to any questions you have along the way.
How detailed should a birth plan be?
As detailed as you want. Some people prefer simple bullet points; others like more detail. Clarity matters more than length. We use a visual birth plan in the office that is broken into time frames related to labor.
Can a birth plan change during labor?
Yes. Birth plans are living documents and can absolutely change based on your needs and circumstances. It is best to have a “best case scenario” option and back up options for each step of the way so your birth doula can best advocate for you.
Who should receive a copy of my birth plan?
Your doula, primary healthcare provider, birthing location, and key members of your support team.
Do hospitals and birth centers follow birth plans?
Most will make a good-faith effort to honor them when medically possible. A doula helps advocate for your preferences and informed consent.
You can click here to get answers to any questions you have or book a FREE Consultation where we can discuss your LGBTQ Birth Plan!
